the reason of not trying to write is because

i feel immense pain while writing and this specific thing makes me sad continuously

and i hate to take it because in my mind its all agony, its all deprived sensations and a dead deprived feeling

i hate the most, the irony is if i don't have any sadness, i can't write

and this thing goes same for if im in agony. Both things works the same. i hate it sometimes or most of the time

" i write one set and then the second one goes off i have such a huge alacrity of nonetheless "

I haven't yet titled my book

wow.

this diary belongs to me, entirely, Do not intervene.

Jan 4, 26'

the dead man sits under the field tree
sees the sprouting flowers. some of them
are out. some still. the sun shines smooth
the air waves and the branches wave like the 
butterflies over sunflowers on the far side of the 
field. 

April 14th 2025

I'm alone not because I'm afraid

I'm alone because I like it 

people disgust me.

i feel like their kindness is rented 

you're sentenced to endless company 

you don't want to be in, there are a few 

literal faces, none legit.

Sept. 11 2025

letter

in an empty field 

i sat down and saw

the sun going down 

it looked pretty and 

it was magnificent,

it was indeed.

all the poets wrote

it down, and i was one 

of them, i wrote a letter 

to the sun that said,

“i always wondered about you, your warmth and your coldness, it always made me wonder about your creator, he must be fond of nature like me”

beneath the sky, until dawn

I saw the sky, the beautiful bird

flown over the skies, breaking barriers 

a bird was free, I feel it, I feel it,

barriers of my own mind, a cuff

God truly says your life's tuff

I will wait until the dawn, until the dawn'.

29th March 2024